I feel it's time to update you all on the situation. It's not good...
This week, my father and I went to Sacramento to see my grandmother in the hospital. She had suffered a series of strokes and was hospitalized. Because of this, we went to see her. We were told of the situation and that she was in a bad way.
Nothing could prepare us for what we saw.
She could not open her eyes. Her jaw hung slack. There were tubes everywhere. To see my grandma in such a way. Neither of us could hold it together. We broke down instantly. We stayed 4 days by her side but had to return home to the terrible burden of life.
Tonight, she passed away.
I don't want to be her now. I can't think straight. I'm crying and getting violent at the same time. My poor father is a mess right now. Both his parents and gone. I saw him cry once before and it was too much for me. Now it's started again.
I will try my best to push through, but I feel I need some time away. I want to run. Just disappear from everything. To not live. To not exist. But I can't. I have to push on.
If you have any amount of spirituality, please for the love of God, pray for us. I can't take it. I don't know what to do. I can't stop crying.
Please, God. Help me.